Happy International Women's Day!
Letter To A Friend
(I wrote this letter [it was written through me] today to my friend, Jordi, who recently died. Some of you may know Jordi, but it doesn't really matter if you do or don't. This letter is also for anyone who has experienced the passing of a loved one.)
8 March 2012
Dear Jordi ~
It’s been one week since you left your body. Time is moving on. Much has happened already in that short time. In the last several days, a deep realization has come to me. A gift has come through this experience. I’ve come to know deep in my being that good will come of your passing. I know it. And so, in this knowing, I’m paying attention, awaiting the good with open arms and an open heart. I’m paying attention within and without. Watching. Listening. Observing. I’m noticing an openness toward the good. I know that you were created from this goodness and that what you leave behind, your legacy, is the same goodness.
Yes, I know that some of those who know you and love you may question my knowing. How can something good possibly come from this tragedy? How can something good possibly come from this pain? They may only see the tragedy or the pain. Perhaps their conditioning is only to assign blame or guilt, or perhaps only to focus on the bad or wrong. Perhaps they are experiencing a roller coaster ride of emotions ~ denial, disbelief, shock, fear, anger, rage, guilt, blame, judgement. The usual stuff. Trying to figure out what happened. Trying to understand. Trying to understand things that can not be understood, things that can never be known. Trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. Perhaps some are ready and open to experiencing something new.
I know that your sudden departure, as with all departures (deaths), brings the possibility of something else. It can point us toward what is real. If we let it. And this reality is something that doesn’t come and go (like bodies), but that which is here always. A constant. It points us to our formless true nature. It points us home to the present. The now. It points us to our connection with our Source, with God. That’s the invitation. Come home to reality. Come off the roller coaster ride of emotion. Come home to your true self. Come home to God. Yes, waves of emotion may still move through. They will be here in awareness. And they’ll be seen as separate from the love we have for you. This love that is beyond emotion. We can stand firm in this love, as this love, and not be swayed from here.
And from here, this stable ground of being, with clarity and our open hearts, we can receive the good. We can receive your legacy. Each one of us who loves you will experience the gifts of the good in ways which will be specific and unique to them. In the ways that you touched each of us. For some, perhaps there will be a renewal of their commitment to live their life to the fullest, to be here 100% in life. For others, perhaps something specific from your life or from your death will be the inspiration to bring to this world, to act on in the world.
I’ve already noticed in me some seeds of goodness from your passing that have been planted and are quickly sprouting. Three seeds. The first is a deeper commitment to bringing forth beauty, to creating beauty. Create the most beautiful life ever. The second seed is a deeper devotion to the preciousness and blessing of this hu-man experience. (Hu means God.) To enjoy every moment of it, the bright shining sun and the dark stormy clouds. To fulfill my purpose, my reason for coming here. And the third seed of goodness is the embracing of all that is loved. Not postponing what is loved for a nano second.
No one will really ever know exactly what happened with you, what was going on inside you. And perhaps it’s not ours to know. Perhaps it’s not our business. In the end, it’s between you and God. What is our business, though, is to continue loving you. The real you. The formless you. The you that our hearts recognized. And to find the peace and the goodness within. It’s here. And has always been here. Perhaps it is our business to be aware of the seeds of goodness that have come through knowing you and loving you, and to plant them in fertile ground and nourish them with consciousness and love. And to watch them grow and flourish. Let the goodness shine.
Maybe you didn’t consciously know that you were leaving us gifts, but you did. The gifts that are for each of us to discover. So far, the biggest gift that has come for me is the absolute faith in the goodness. My prayer is that we all know this goodness that you left as your gift for us. May we invite the goodness and hold it dearly in our hearts.
You are here in my heart, as you are in every heart that loves you, being held dearly. Always.
Much Love ~ Moni